Purpose, a word I often find myself angry at!  
Why am I here? Why is my life so hard? What am I supposed to be doing? How could God do this?  

I’ve struggled with this thing called life as long as I can remember. I have hit a complete rock bottom more time then I can count. I’ve been to dark places and no longer wanted to push through and live. Wouldn’t the world be better off without me? I have anxiety, depression, borderline personality disorder, and bipolar. I’ve lost myself in not focusing on my mental health. If I just have happy thoughts and live a ‘normal life’ it will all go away! Right? No. I was sadly mistaken. I have pushed countless great people out of my life. I have been hateful, sad, angry, and it wasn’t going away.  

I would spend days without smiling, brushing my hair, cleaning my home, and doing any kind of responsibility I should have been doing. Until my last episode, I tried to over dose on medication that wasn’t even prescribed to me. I wanted my life to end. I was DONE. No one could help me. I was filled with self-hate. Instead of dying, God blessed me with a man who listens and cares how I feel. He knew the best thing for me to do was to seek help for my mental health. He assured me he would stay by my side no matter what happened.  

I’ve had people say they would help me, but when it would get difficult they would just walk out. I know I finally have the support I truly needed. It’s been 3 months since my life was changed forever. I finally haves stopped struggling, gave in, and got on the medication I needed. I am truly blessed that God heard my cries and he walks with me daily. Don’t get me wrong, I still have bad days, but they are better days than I have seen. I see the positive now and I am a better person!

-Megan