I am a licensed master’s level social worker so you think I would have seen the signs sooner. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in 2017. I had many signs of it since I had my second son in 2016 but it took forever to be diagnosed. The fatigue was out of this world. I even dropped my oldest but thankfully it did not hurt him because I was so weak. I knew then that I had to get help which lead to me seeing a rheumatologist which changed my life for the better. 

I did not realize what all was “going on in my head” as I refer to it. I was so tired from the fatigue and pain and it led to some depression. You never know how something like a medical condition can mess with your head. I was not the same person I had always been, I mean, don’t get me wrong I was still me, but I knew I had changed. I was not happy like I was and at times had to make myself put a smile on my face and act like I was fine. I really don’t know if other people could tell it because I can put on a pretty good show through the pain, depression and anxiety I felt and still feel at times. 

Before the doctor put me on Cymbalta I was a wreck. I have always had some anxiety but never like this. I would get so sick feeling in meetings at work (which never happened before) and couldn’t stand to be around a lot of people. Going to Walmart had become unbearable. I didn’t want to go to family parties and things like that. Now that I am on medication I still have days like this but it’s much better than it was. I would never push medication on anyone but it did help me so much. 

In the past three weeks, my husband, kids, parents, and my Nana survived a tornado at my parents’ home. My husband, my father, and myself saved my nana from her home and got her into the basement seconds before the tornado wiped out my parents’ home. Five days later I was diagnosed with an immune disorder and then the next day my Nana passed away. This has put me under a huge amount of stress, worry, and guilt. Which of course does not help with anxiety and depression. 

In saying all of this, a mental illness does not define you. There will always be things that make you have a “set back” like I recently did, but it gets better. It really does. Let people know what is going on with you. Talking to someone helps so much. Like so many have told me, you cannot help others if you do not help yourself first. 

-Jessica Strickland