It started while I was in kindergarten.

My grandmother picked us up one day after we got off the bus to meet her new boyfriend. I wasn't too sure of him at first, but my favorite person in the whole world was there and we would be spending time with her. I was excited more than anything for that. I can't remember exactly if it was then or the next time we were with them, we (my brother and I) spent the night with my grandmother and her new boyfriend. We liked him so much we got him to lay with us to watch a movie. I remember waking up to feeling him touching me. My brother was asleep on the other side of the bed. My heart was racing and I was so scared. He whispered not to tell anyone. So I didn't.

Each time we spent the night or spent time with them, he made a point to be alone with me. Each time, he would touch me and tell me not to tell. He never threatened me, why didn't I tell? I guess it was because he was an "adult" and I was scared to be in trouble or hurt my grandmother.

A year or two later, it got worse. He wanted more than just to touch me. He would indicate that he wanted to have sex with me. Here I am, 7 or 8 years old, and this old man wanted to sleep with me. For years I let this go on. Why?!

By the time I was 9 or 10, I had always felt older than normal, I guess being taken advantage of by an "adult" made me feel that way, I don’t know. Anyway, belly button piercings were a thing so I pierced mine, myself. I showed him when we were going swimming one day. He told my grandmother and I got in the most trouble from it. Since some sort of secrecy or trust between us had been broken, I decided to tell my best friend then told my parents what had been going on.

My parents were at a loss on what to do. We told my grandmother and she felt the same. She confronted him and of course he denied it. I spent maybe a year or two away from him. My parents wanted to turn him in, but didn't want me to be torn apart in court. I respect their decision. My grandmother married this man during the time it was all still going on. We or they all decided to put things behind us but none of us were to be left alone with him.

During this time, my sister was born... then later my cousin. I knew I had to protect them no matter what, because I didn't want what happened to me, to happen to them. I didn’t want them to carry that weight and feel like a black sheep like I did for so long.

By me telling everyone what happened to me and had went on for years, it caused problems in the family. No one knew how to take it. Relationships were broken. Some of us didn't speak or see each other for years.

After years had gone by, we finally became a family again just a few years before losing my sweet grandmother. She was my best friend. She was my everything. I loved her more than anything and just knew she would get to see my kids grow up. I never knew why she stayed married to that man, but I knew it wasn't to hurt me or anything like that. That's not who she was. I knew she loved me and my siblings and my, at the time, unborn child.

We saw him one last time before I had my baby. He was drunk and/or high and made a scene. He had tried killing himself. He had been drinking heavily every day. He hugged me so tight and I just felt so disgusted and awkward. After that day, I never saw him again and won't. He tells people that we won't let him see his grandchild. I know my grandmother would not want it this way, but I still feel like he had something to do with her death, even if it was neglect, I feel it in my bones. He gave away her things. He let their house go. He sold her land. Never told us once what he was doing. Everything that was left of her was gone and we never got to see her things or where we spent so much time, again. I was angry. I was depressed. I was sad. I had so much hatred for this man. Death wasn't even good enough for him. I wanted him to suffer and to waste away.

Now, I still miss my grandmother. Life isn't fair at all; however, I do believe she passed on to make sure she put the finishing touches on my baby girl. I see so much of her in my daughter and I know, she saved me from myself! No, we do not see my grandmother's husband. Right or wrong, that is our choice. I will probably always be overprotective of my daughter, but that's because I know the evil in this world. I know there are snakes among us. I just pray she will one day understand why I have done and will continue to do the things I do, without ever having to experience anything like I have.

This wasn't a story to make anyone look bad, other than the monster that took advantage of a kid. I love my grandmother and miss her every day. I don't regret not taking him to court, because jail would have been too good for him. One day, he will get his!! I am ok!! I am happy!! I am no longer a victim of his or anyone's!! I am free!!

-Anonymous