I never truly understood what people meant when they said, “You have to process and move on because grief is like anger, it can be all consuming.”

Grief has been something my whole family has struggled with since 2006. I mean, yes, we lost many loved ones before that, but we were able to accept it, process it, and carry on with day to day functions.

On February 20, 2006, we lost my oldest brother in an offshore accident. Our family was devastated. There was an overwhelming weight on my chest. I was in nursing school and was on break about to go in when I got the call that he had been hurt. It was my 2nd anniversary with my husband and my brother was going to babysit for us. He wasn't even supposed to be out there, but worked over. He was the only one.

We had so many questions, they had very few answers and to this day we still have unanswered questions. We stayed in such shock and sadness but we had each other. I have such a large family, we had the Lord, and each other.

And then.. On June of 2006, my dad got sick and was diagnosed with cancer. We thought the grief had him sick. On September 22, 2006, he lost his battle to cancer. We still hadn't really dealt with losing my brother and now my dad. I was so sure that a broken heart was real at that point.

On October of 2006, I get a call from my friend. He tells me there's been an accident and my best friend didn't make it. I wondered at this point if it was possible to recover from grief.

Yes, it was possible. It is still there at times, but we did learn how to live with it. We prayed and learned how to incorporate it into our lives, and share the memories they left each of us without it devastating us. But it definitely had its lasting effects. No one tells you grief causes physical pain, memory loss, etc.

They just say, "It'll get better, time will heal, the Lord wouldn't give you this if you couldn't handle it." Yes, it did get easier, but time isn't the healer. It's just that the world doesn't stop and you have to take your own amount of time to grieve and heal and lastly, The Lord didn't give us more than we could bear without Him. We had to stop trying to be okay on our own for the healing to begin.

-It is okay to need help with your grief.

- Medication doesn't mean you're crazy or something is wrong with you.

-There's no set amount of time for you to grieve and heal. Take your time because we all grieve & heal differently.

-Janice Middleton