THE POWER OF NO As the eldest of three siblings, I became accustomed to helping others that truly depended on me to make big and sometimes simple decisions. That particular behavior carried over into my adult life – from friends, colleagues, and even work. Having a caring heart is definitely a blessing, but it can also be a burden.

Many people do not talk about the heaviness of being the “go to” person whenever a problem or concern is present. It wasn’t until I entered my 30’s that I realized I always made myself available to others without considering if I was actually in a good mental state to listen to their problems.

I often wondered why I felt like the weight of the world was on my shoulders. After doing some self-reflection, the answer was simple – I never knew how to say “NO”. Not that I was naïve or a pushover, I just usually hated to face conflict, so sometimes I would just go with the flow even if it made me uncomfortable.

I had to realize that it’s okay not to take on everyone’s burdens, but I still could offer support in my own way and in my own time. As much as I would like to try to save the world, I knew that I would be useless in doing so if I couldn’t cater to my own needs, especially mentally. However, I can make the world a better place by taking care of myself first.

As the old saying goes, you can’t pour from an empty cup and you can’t be everything for everybody. In a world that’s ever-changing, we are all faced with problems and issues; however, it’s okay to tell your friends and family if you’re not in the right mental state to engage in draining conversations or their personal dilemmas.

As a selfless person, I’ve learned that it’s perfectly it is fine to be selfish in protecting your peace without feeling guilty. I am a true advocate for mental health, but I believe the true change happens when we learn to take care of ourselves.

- Anonymous